Wednesday, May 18, 2011

First impressions of being a stay at home mom

 OK, one word, paradigm shifting! If your not a parent yet Imagine this if you will, parenting is like taking care of this little thing that is attached to you, that no matter how tired you are or how busy you are you have to stop everything you doing to meet the needs of this " little creature" To sum it up, yea that's how it goes.

  
I want to tell my story of being a parent and my struggles! Being pregnant with Jensynn was one of the most difficult things I think I will ever do, but also the best thing ever! It was a little more difficult for me because I have a bad back"herniated L5 S1 disc" and I have depression and anxiety. I was lucky that I was able to take zoloft and for zoloft to have worked for me, otherwise I think I might of went into preterm labor from being stressed out! I remember spending a lot of time crying while i was pregnant and in pain from my back, then later on came the carpal tunnel in my hands which ended up leaving my fingers numb even up to a little over a month after Jensynn was born. When he was born it was crazy, it was like it wasn't real!?
 As Jensynn got older I found myself starting to feel more and more depressed and anxious,the older he got the more i noticed the increase in crying spells. it was happy to see him growing and changing and sad at the same time because I am slowly losing my little baby boy and I can't help but imagine him older, as a five year old and not needing mommy anymore.
 Jensynn is 3 months old and 9 days shy of being 4 months now. I have insomnia so bad, maybe it's from worrying about him too much, I find that i get about 24 hours of sleep total through the week. imagine trying to keep the house cleaned up, and remember when you have last showered and find time for yourself, besides when you put the baby down for bed at night or just simply remembering things.
 I does get a little depressing watching my husband get away when he goes to work. he doesn't have to answer to the calls of the baby while he is at work and doesn't have to worry about being able to fall asleep before the baby to get sleep, or have the constant questioning in the back of your mind as to if maybe you can take a bath before the baby wakes up before you get some sleep.
 Being a mom means you will always have that attachment like your baby is still physically attached to you, that being said whether some believe it or not stay at home moms do have a 24/7 job physically and emotionally. You may not always be physically on the clock but you are emotionally/mentally

 It is worth every sleepless night,all of the pain it took and every tear I have cried 














2 comments:

  1. Jess I couldnt agree more! Nothing compares to being a mommy! And although Jensynn is growing up oh too fast,and its sad to think that someday he may not need u as much! Rest assured that no matter how big or how old he will always need his mommy and daddy! As time goes by itgets a little less emotional thinking of his getting older as memorys n the making and those are what we as parents will always have to cherish! So try to stop worring as much and take care of urself cause jensynn needs u to always be here for him.we love u guys and I really would like to meet my nephew. Lol .oh and jess enjoy the journey its incredible! "!!!!

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